Deconversion, Uncategorized

Do we really need more deconversion stories?

It’s time to take the leap and do my part to help build a community for those who have went through the heartache of deconversion from religion. I went through this difficult journey and while there are many resources and great websites about skepticism there is a shortage of places that we can point our friends and family to that can highlight the normalcy of this journey.

I wanted to make a place for others to be able to come and hear my stories and others like mine. I thought this would be a great way for me to pay it forward to others who took the bold leap of skepticism leaving the comfort of their faith and risking relationships with their families and friends and sharing their experiences in a public forum, without them I would not have been exposed to information and epistemological questions that led to my deconversion.

This is my first blog as a new “agnostic and deconverted christian” in what I hope can be a series explaining the flaws I found in my faith. The purpose and hope is that it can help others who are either still in a faith belief system to better understand how I could walk away after 30 years in Christianity or for those who are recovering from a deconversion experience.

Many deconversion stories have been written about and shared before. I enjoy reading deconversion stories because it helps me realize I am not the only one who was went through this unforeseen change in belief after my entire worldview was built on it. Friends and family who see someone go through this process think it is someone either “backsliding” or angry at God or the world or in my case the accusations of both with a “mid life crisis” claim thrown in to the discussion as well.

I think deconversion in more “liberal” households can be difficult but when you deconvert in the South, “The Bible Belt”, “In The Great State of Texas” it can definitely add more problems to the mix. Not only did I lose my Christianity but I lost the “all in one” package that came with it. The “previous me” was Fundamental Christian, Republican & Conservative. The Fundamental Christian title has changed to Agnostic Atheist and I no longer identify as republican but rather a Libertarian. In Texas you might as well brand yourself as a murderer and devil worshipper by just admitting either of these changes publicly.

Why would anyone risk damaging the relationship with their spouse, their family and friends and community? I have been asked since I have started to become “out” with my agnosticism to just “go along” and “pretend you still believe” and to “not be so open about it”. I have thought about keeping silent, and to some degree I still am only out to my immediate family and a few friends but I continue to believe remaining silent is not helpful to the overall cause and continue to vocalize my skepticism in conversations delicately.

We all think we are alone, but we are not and that is why it is important for sites like this one to exist and why we need more of them. And as my headline posed the question “do we need more deconversion stories?” I make the case we do and I plan to do my part in speaking out for skepticism. With that said I expect this is largely skeptic audience so my blogs will address the deconversion process and present counter-apologetics to commonly held Christian beliefs. I look forward to your participation joining me in the conversation with comments and feedback and maybe together we learn from each other. If you would also like to follow me on twitter @agnosticdude Till next time…..

7 thoughts on “Do we really need more deconversion stories?”

  1. Wow! This story is so familiar, I feel I’m reading my own story. I have also drifted away from traditional Christian lifestyle and can’t say anymore with sincerity that I am a Christian . A few years ago I allowed myself to embrace my doubts and expand my views about this life. I’m no longer bound to believe only what today’s church tells me to believe ( although many churches have slightly different interpretations) I don’t feel I have to worship the Bible or attend church regularly . The last church I attended separated and spread into different chuches. This was my opportunity for me to look into the horizon and live life with more liberty and genuine searching. It was almost like a divorce which created a temporary spiritual crisis. I still have not come out of the “closet” in its entirety. I still believe in forgiveness, grace , serving the poor, and being meek. I have also embraced some Buddhist teachings such as mindfulness, simplicity , and avoiding suffering by getting rid of desires. In spite of all this, I sometimes still long for the “fuzziness” of having a “relationship “ with a deity and trusting that I am protected by a supernatural being. I sometimes wish Jesus would be a real entity that forgave my shortcomings and is waiting for me in heaven. But I tend to dismiss all that by rationalizing and reminding myself that I am a human being who sometimes need to have a sense of security and belonging which can be accomplished through family , relationships, hobbies, work , or friends . But I still long sometimes. Nevertheless, hope we can continue to share experiences and ideas.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Noel, thanks for your comments. I can relate to you as well in regards to looking into buddhism as well. I started looking in to the Tao De Ching, and have found some of Sam Harris’s discourse on mindfulness to be helpful, and my twitter handle is the “AgnosticDude” referencing “The Big Lewbowski” which has a lot of Buddist/Tao undertones. I also am still relatively new in deconversion and sometimes the pain of wishing I could just go back to believing and not knowing what I know now. It would make it so much simpler. That is why I just started this site to help others know it is ok to find happiness in “The Deconverted Life”. I am still building out the site but if you get a chance check out “97 Roscoe” story under my deconversion stories tab. If you haven’t seen those videos they may also provide comfort in your decision. I know they did for me. Thanks for following the blog. Take care!

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  2. I’m also raised BibleBelt (Kentucky/Tennessee) and am disgusted by organized religion and infuriated by gun-toting, self-righteous, bible-thumping charletans that just want my time, attention and money. They got my wife, my children, my business and came near costing me my life. My soul is safe now, thank Ghod.

    This effort is a welcoming site for sore eyes in my book. Thank you @Agnosticdude for moving the conversation forward!

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    1. Welcome to the conversation sir. I appreciate your feedback. The site just got launched but I plan on adding content each week to build it out and add a forum as well for us to all have for friendly conversation. Thanks for the support and stay tuned.

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  3. I’m from Arkansas and I grew up in a fundamentalist household. When I started deconverting, I had to completely rewire my entire perspective. I quickly noticed my family would become easily irritated with my independent thinking, lifelong friends wouldn’t and had no interest in speaking to me ever again. I was blindsided and honestly confused by the judgement I was receiving from people who had known me for 25+ years. I don’t live in that town anymore, needless to say. Thank you for this space.

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    1. Thanks for checking out the space here and especially for your feedback. I completely understand and being 46 yrs old and from East Texas I have had the same type of reactions from those around me. But the payoff or return and being free from the shackles of religion and unjustifiable belief and doctrines has been worth it. I value life and my time hear more. If you ever want to contribute an article to the site about your experiences or deconversion story please let me know.

      Liked by 1 person

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